I have a problem with my pants. Ok, well not my pants specifically, but with pants in general. And bras. And suspender belts. And any other type of lingerie that you might care to mention.

It’s just that…they all got so small for a while.

When I was a lithe young teen, small pants were all the rage. Thongs, tiny bras, the g-string. They were the fashion, and despite their lack of coverage and comfort I wore them unabated. But I mean seriously. Wearing pants with the word string in them? That can’t be right no matter which way you look at it.

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