Starting school: what parents need to know

06 September

Walk away: hug your child on the playground, hand over the day’s necessities, and grin wildly as your baby crosses the threshold of the classroom for the first time. Then turn around, walk away, and don’t look back. Do not enter the classroom under any circumstances. Resist the shameless endeavours of your child to entice you in there. Show any sign of weakness and it’s all over; you can count on weeks of having your child ripped forcibly from your arms, whilst other parents tut and blame you for the tearful mob chain-reaction that ensues…

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