So, I moved back to the north east, not quite back to where I was born, in Gateshead, but across the river to Newcastle. It’s close enough – I’m near my sister, who I now see several times a week, my dad, who I never see, and my brothers, who I never see, but that’s nothing new. At least with my dad I know he’s just a car ride away and I find that comforting, especially as we are all getting older.
I’m comfortable, I feel content. You can’t just dismiss 24 years of a relationship without any comeback – sadness, regret, wonder if you’ve done the right thing, fear at what lies ahead and worry about finances – but for all of that, and I’ve experienced all of that since my move, I’m content.
I don’t know if I’m happy. I sing along to the radio and I’ve smiled/laughed a few times, but does that mean I’m happy? It will take time to know, or even it will take time to become happy – I don’t think it will just come naturally, just like that.