This time two years ago, I was just preparing to move into this flat. I had just gotten back together with S's father for the last time. I thought I had seven weeks left of my pregnancy. Mentally, I was completely broken by the stress and strain of what had been going on throughout my pregnancy. I was totally under my ex's control, and he knew it. Having gotten someone else pregnant, and then found himself a new girlfriend in the last few weeks, he had made me beg him to take me back. I now believe both the pregnancy and the girlfriend were deliberately done in order to get me to tow the line, to put me in my place. And they worked. He knew I was petrified of becoming a mother alone. He had made sure from very early on that he pointed out to me every single thing that I would not be able to cope with.