Thursday 10th October 2013 – The day I began tough love.

Thursday 10th October 11.30 pm I’m crying. Big tears of shame, exasperation and exhaustion.

I can’t cope any more with the night time waking . I know it’s only 11.30 pm but I came to bed at 8 pm, exhausted from lack of sleep, night after night.

Allan is working away and I miss him dreadfully.

Lily woke at 10.30 pm, and after I soothed her with a kiss and a cuddle, as I do every night, she refused to go back to bed, as she does every night. Several times a night, every night.

I spoke to her in my sternest voice. I told her that mummy was no longer going to be coming to her room several times a night, and that she was to stay in bed and go to sleep. I told her mummy was tired, she needed to sleep as does she. She acknowledged this, but I know I will find myself in this same situation later on in the night. I will tell her again, and again, and again. The same as every other night, for the past 18 months.

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