The best way I can describe how I felt in the months after both of my babies arrived was that I was in a fog. Sometimes it was thick and dark and I felt incredibly sad, other times angry (mostly with my husband). A lot of the time I just felt like what should have been my happy times were in some way suppressed. I couldn’t let go and relax, a constant feeling of anxiety and that there was something that needed doing. That total responsibility for another being felt huge, and my striving to do it brilliantly and to get it right meant I put myself under massive pressure. This often led to the angry exchanges with my husband; he didn’t feel that anxiety so overwhelming and personal, and as far as he could see for the most part we had happy healthy babies, so I should chill out.