Social Media Pariah

Social Media Pariah

Keep poo talk to a minimum. I personally enjoy a bit of a poo talk, I think working in a pub, owning a managerie of animals and most importantly, a small child, has totally desensitised me to poo. I find it amusing when my kid announces proudly that he has “DONE A NUMBER 2!” to discover that yes, he’s done a poo in the toilet - BUT OMFG LOOK, IT’S IN THE SHAPE OF AN ACTUAL NUMBER 2! GENIUS! Others might not like this, tread with poo carefully, both literally and metaphorically. At least try to refrain from Instagramming it. Be self deprecating. Post photos of yourself looking like shit. But not in the highly annoying actually I look fine but I’ll say I don’t so people say I do mind fuckery bollocks. No. In a proper, IKR? I totes look like Dot Cotton after a bender at 6am. People like to be able to relate to your down-to-earthiness.

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Not Ready To Loosen The Apron Strings

A Champagne 'Thank You' to Mr Williams, courtesy of Waitrose and Me!