I have a huge and heavy
Robust and wriggling belly.
I am anticipatory and trepidatory,
While waiting I grow weighty;
My swollen tummy ever growing,
My once-slim figure ever going,
Expanding skin now stretched so taut,
And oh, the expensive creams I’ve bought
To halt the marks and stop the itching
That heavy pregnancy’s inflicting.
And it’s not just that: my feet are fat.
I can’t sleep on my front or back,
In fact, I cannot sleep at all
Without a massive pillow wall
That wraps around my front and rear;
My poor old husband can’t get near!
And then there’s matters of the table;
Although I eat all I am able,
Dining’s losing it’s appeal
As I can’t have a single meal
Without a painful gas affliction
Gaviscon’s my new addiction.
Then when I have to go outside
I feel like someone twice as wide
And lumber slowly down the street
With painful hips and back and feet
And even this small animation
Gives me bouts of palpitations.
It’s been a tiring pregnancy
But soon I’ll be a mum of three
And won’t be whinging half as much
When there’s nothing in me but my guts!