Maternity leave was an amazing time - spending my time with my baby, watching her grow and helping her to develop. I loved having that time to truly focus on being a mother, but I did feel there was a dark cloud hanging over me. That cloud was my return to work, to a job I loved, at a place I loved to work, but for some reason it still felt like a dark storm approaching. I just couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to my daughter at the start of each day, and not seeing her for the following 10 hours.
After many sleepless nights, hours of discussion and a moment of clarity, I decided not to return to work. I thought, at the time, that I just needed a few more months with my daughter. That when she was a little older, I would happily leave her. And so, I handed my notice in. It was a difficult month that followed, with many hours spent worrying I may have done the wrong thing. I loved being with my daughter, but would I one day resent her for missed opportunities?