I felt so low

I felt so low

I've read about depression, read about the black dog, read about people unable to get out of bed in the mornings, unable to function. That wasn't me. I functioned, I always have. I'm a coper. And this year life has settled down and become a little more stable. I've not been lurching from one crisis to the next, trying to firefight, to keep the show on the road.

What happened? Well when the firefighting stopped, I began to feel overwhelmed by all the stuff that has happened over the past ten years, and how much my life has changed, how different it is from the family life that I had planned and worked so hard for. Every day became a stress-fest, and I couldn't relax or sleep without a glass of wine, I needed constant pain killers for headaches. I suspect I would've taken anything to feel better, if it had been offered. Yet I felt so guilty, I have three wonderful children (even if two of them do have special needs), a beautiful home, a job I enjoy, enough money, and great friends.

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