Forget the clean, pressed uniform, with brand-new shoes
Yes, of course you need to make sure your child has smart clothes on their first day. But DO NOT expect them to stay like that.
Your child will be returned to you in a jumper encrusted with white blobs, and a shirt that’s been smeared with unintelligible brown stains (which you hope arrived there in the dinner hall, not the bathroom).
Oh, and those well-fitting shoes that cost you squillions? Scuffed to bits.
Smart haircut for starting school
Don’t. You’ll want your child to be recognised as a genius the moment they step through the door. But if you cut off their distinctive, unkempt Summer-locks, the only thing the teacher will see is a little boy who looks just the same as all the rest.
Except, he farts a lot.*
Teachers are just the same as they used to be