How To Have Writer’s Block

Firstly, you need the writer’s block uniform, you have to look the part. Dressing gown. Yes, even in this weather. Sans bra. Optional – jogging bottoms or pyjamas, topped off with mystery stains. Out of shape, greying T-shirt, I like to go with a freebie kind of ensemble, or better yet a touristy type thang. Ya know, something with meaning. My favourite is one with a TERRIFYING rabbit emblazoned on the front, complete with red eyes, the thinking behind it, I assume, is to SCARE THE LITERAL BEJESUS out of you, before you even THINK about using products that are tested on animals. Unbrushed hair, get some food, cigarette butts or suchlike stuck in it for extra visual excitement. Backcomb the living fuck out of it into scary peaks. Imagine yourself as a wild animal that can’t be tamed. You are a creative-less husk of a beast. Roar. ROAR!

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