Go the Fudge to Sleep

Sod selling the poor parents these magical baby sleep books, regimenting the fruit of their loins and teaching them to sleep, we’re so fucking tired we can’t even spell our own names, but read a book? READ A BOOK? That would involve me moving and turning on the bedside lamp which will wake the little imp up who if you hadn’t noticed, is asleep on my face, attempting to tear my earlobes from my head with his tiny pincher-like grip, I dunno, it’s comforting for him or something.

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