Father’s Day is an odd one when you have lost a child.
You have to make it a good day for your remaining children, but not forget the ones missing.
It contradicts itself.
It pulls you in two different directions.
You have happiness and joy celebrating the wonderful Daddy that your children have. The love they have for each other and the fun they have.
Then you have the sadness, the tears, the despair that they will never hold her again, never see her smile, or laugh, or grow old.
They are the ultimate extremes and it is so hard.
I always want to include Rhianna Lily in these days but it is hard to find a way to include her.
This year was particularly hard. It was Boo’s first Father’s day and I didn’t want to take away from that.
I wanted that to be celebrated, first fathers day with both boys and Baba was really excited about it.