Yup. It’s lunch break on Valentine’s Day and you’re watching that popular skinny blonde parade around the school clutching a dozen cards and a bunch of flowers. Meanwhile you’re trying to convince yourself that the card you got from a mysterious admirer (AKA your Mum) might actually be from Keanu Reeves, but even your whimsical mind is finding it hard to stretch that far.
It’s no surprise really. Those braces do you no favours, you’ve got possibly THE worst haircut you’ll ever have (to date at least) and it probably doesn’t help that you’re a foot taller than most the boys in your year. Oh and your bum is massive, you think tying your school jumper around your waist hides the fact that you have an unhealthy Boost bar obsession but it really doesn’t. While I can’t promise you that your bum is any smaller these days (afraid it’s still pretty enormous) but I am delighted to inform you that you’ve reached a stage in your life where that isn’t so important anymore, to yourself and to everyone else.
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