A memo to all toddlers re. your diet

A memo to all toddlers re. your diet

I’ve noticed an alarming trend at pre-school, some of my fellows seem to be eating what is presented to them on their plates without query. I have also witnessed some voluntary consumption of vegetables. It makes me sick.

Take heed people, follow these simple rules and exert some fricking authority!

Set the tone – spend a week detoxing on jam toast. Refuse anything but Cheerios for breakfast. Have them without milk on Mondays, Thursdays and every other Friday. Hyperventilate if they get this wrong. Don’t try anything new EVER. Just because you liked something yesterday does not mean you have to like it again today. It is perfectly acceptable to change your mind and you do not have to explain yourself. Fruit as a pudding is bullsh*t. Be suspicious of anything that was recently alive. Beige, dead looking stuff is safer. Request a wide variety of food at the supermarket and then a, deny all knowledge of it upon your return home or b, allow it to be cooked first and then say you don’t like it.

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This post was recommended and added to Love All Blogs by Hurrah For Gin

Bug can ski!

Finishing off