Whatever happened to the dog that was scheduled to urinate up the side of the pram as we ate? How come one of my bra wires didn’t work loose and subsequently focus all its attention on attempting to saw my whole body in half as I ambled around the shops? I wasn’t even offered ONE TINY OPPORTUNITY TO WASTE THREE OR FOUR MINUTES COMPLETING MARKET RESEARCH/A SLIP, TRIP OR FALL CLAIM/BEING INTERVIEW ABOUT MY CAVITY WALL INSULATION NEEDS.

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