Ladies and Gentlemen,
Welcome aboard the school holidays. Emergency exits are situated...well, there are no emergency exits, you are on this ride until the first week in September. Temporary respite may be found in Pimms bottles.
In approximately 5 minutes you will hear the first request for a drink. When you have delivered the drink and resettled yourself in your chair, this will be followed by a request for some food. Once this has been dealt with, and you think you might read a paragraph of the newspaper, child number two goes through the same process, followed then by child number three.
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