He’s a rum old chap, that Santa. He lays low for eight months of the year, then – pow! – he’s popping up all over the place. In shops, on the TV, and then even in the nooks and crannies of your house. Only this tubby fellow, with his bag of giftwrapped goodies, could get away with something that would otherwise be known as stalking.
And forget the Seven Ages of Man – you can gauge where you are, in your journey through life, depending on how Santa looks to you. He changes, you see, depending on how old you are.
Here they are: the Seven Ages of Santa. Scary Santa
To 99.9999% of children under the age of three – the ones that can walk, talk, scream or run away, that is – Santa is the most terrifying man alive. A stranger with shocking facial hair, who sits in red suit that looks suspiciously like a giant red babygro. An overfed man whose job description requires him to grab them for a sweaty (and maybe even beery) cuddle.
The man is a monster.
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