Cats slaughter hundreds if not thousands of infants every year. It's a fact. Their all-time favourite modus operandi is to position themselves over the sleeping body of a newborn baby and suck the breath out of its body until death occurs, but as if that weren't enough, they’re also into chest compression, suffocation, and spraying toxoplasmosis all over the fucking joint.
In short, they have a rap sheet that would sicken even Herod.
I only know this because of my mother, who accompanied me on my way out of hospital, following the birth of my firstborn.
“I’ve been thinking”, she said, turning to me. “About Winnie and Patsy.” (my cats) “Oh, ok. What about them?” I said. “Cats can suffocate babies”, she said, suddenly gripping the infant carrier. “So, I’m happy to take them to the vet for you, for, well, you know what. And I’m happy to pay for it. As a Christmas present.” “You want to kill the cats for me?” I said. “As a Christmas present?”